When Love Learns What More Means

There are times in your life when you hit a turning point, and you can either stay stuck or move and change.

This creates resistance in your inner world sometimes if you don’t want to see it, and it can make your ego really resistant, upset and unhappy. You might be angry, lash out, blame or keep things bottled up, depending on how invested you are in the pattern, in yourself, in your need to be right, be superior or in staying a victim.

I said to someone that I wanted more a while back. At that time, I did not have the words to articulate what that actually meant, and I am not sure I knew within myself well enough either.

Sometimes we feel something long before we can logically understand it or articulate the words to explain it. The body, heart and nervous system can register a truth before the mind has caught up. You can feel the pull, the discomfort, the longing, the expansion or the lack before you know what to call it. That does not mean it is irrational. It may simply mean your awareness is arriving before your language does.

Sometimes we are not even aware that we need more until it is shown to us that we actually want something. I think I had gotten so used to giving and being of service that I had not allowed myself to actually want something and let it matter to me.

That is a game changer.

When you have spent a lot of your life just surviving. Doing your duty. Honoring vows you made to others. Being of service. What we should do is not necessarily what we want to do. How many things do you do because you have to, not because you want to?

I had quite a few.

We are traveling through our lives. We show up, we do what we need to do, we are there for others, we try to be good humans. Then along comes something in your world that shows you that you might have been missing something priceless that you did not even know that you needed or wanted until it showed up and love illuminated it.

It may be the lack of self-care that you don’t give yourself. It could be that another person showed you that you were missing connection and belonging in your life. It could be that you now see that what was once acceptable in your life is not anymore because now you have felt and seen the difference. It could be that you were lacking the vulnerability that you needed for intimacy.

This creates a dilemma.

Can you now stay in a world where you see the lack of love?

What are you willing to do about it now that you have seen it?

More can be:

More time with someone

More communication

More support

More connection

More love

More moments

More reciprocity

Because once you see whatever it is, you can stay where you are, but you will know the difference and how you felt with that new awareness. That does not go away.

You can go back into denial, avoidance or try to block it to stay safe.

I could not. In fact, I had no logical awareness that I was even missing it until then.

Now that I see clearly, I can not go back, and it set an entirely new bar in my life. Once you have experienced authenticity, truth and love, it is damn near impossible to go back to sleep and be happy with less. I could not do it, but then it required me to work on myself so that I could articulate what more meant for me, learn how to communicate better and what I wanted now within myself.

That has taken some time.

Since I was not even aware that I needed it, how could I speak it when I did not know myself?

Raising the bar means rising up. Inside of yourself and possibly outside with others. What you will accept. What you will tolerate. What you need. What you want. What brings you happiness. What brings you suffering.

More requires awareness, truth, communication, and once you have it, you cannot unknow what you now know.

You may still choose less.

But you will know the difference.

And that changes everything…xoxo