When Love Learns Accountability

One of the most important things when you are starting to have inner awareness and evolve is accountability.

You would think that this would be easy, but your ego does not like to think that it could possibly have a problem or an issue that it needs to look at.

I mean seriously, doesn’t the world revolve around “me?” Nothing is “MY” issue.

When you are having a difficult conversation with someone, when they may point out something that upsets them, what do you say in return? Do you automatically blame? Do you look internally at what they said? Do you shut down?

I’m not saying that everyone has the correct perspective, but if you care about having a relationship with others and not always being in defense mode, is what they are saying true? Is it something you need to look at to make the people that you love feel more loved?

We all have patterns. ALL. OF. US.

If someone is vulnerable enough to tell you, watch your response to them.

Do you ignore them? Do you try to guilt them for saying something to you? Do you get angry? Do you secretly call them an asshole or a bitch in your mind? Do you think they are stupid? Do you apologize just to keep the peace? Are you silent and then resentful internally?

None of that is love, but it is human.

It just points to where you might have a wound, need to learn to communicate better, or know yourself well enough that when someone says something, you can go within yourself and see if it might have some truth to it.

If you don’t speak, no one learns or evolves, and you also get to keep your self-righteous self.

“I’m sorry” goes a long way. Accountability goes even farther, but it takes inner work. This is where some fall short.

That might mean you will change. That might mean that who you thought you were is not actually the case. It might mean that the person you are talking to has not looked at themselves and is blaming you.

You can look bright and shiny on the outside and not be so great on the inside.

Whatever it is, it’s OK. We all make mistakes. This is our humanity. You have to start somewhere.

But when we see the pattern and don’t change, that is an entirely different thing.

That is your choice and your free will.

Sometimes I don’t communicate my emotions very well. I’m working on it.

I mess up on a regular basis, but I don’t shame, guilt, or beat myself up now.

I accept that I don’t have to be perfect, and those who really love me will hopefully still be standing there with compassion and grace, the same compassion and grace that I need to offer them as well.

Not because they have to, not because they are required to, and not because it would make them look good, but because they want to.

Because they choose to love. ❤️ And with that, love themselves.